Well I got confimation this morning that it looks like moving into the parsonage and taking over the custodial oversite duties is a go.
The following is fairly stream of conscienceness and so may be a bit all over the place.
This is going to be a big change in my life. For one thing I will be moving for the first time in 4 1/2 years. I like where I live, across from the golf course and will be sad to leave but I do live in an apartment and will not miss the extra noise that comes from my neighbors. Our church building is located on the outskirts of town and still has a bit of a rural feel. And it will be convient living next to the church building, it will save me the 3 minute drive I currently have to endure.
At this point it looks like I will be moving end of December so the already fun holiday season will be even more cram packed with excitement.
One direction I have been given is not to try and do everything myself. I am supposed to be more of a coordinator rather than grunt. I am sure that I will be doing plenty of the grunt labor because realistically I might have 4 or 5 people sign up to help, just like with everything else. The nice thing about being told to do it this way is that I think it will head off any grumbling people may do about why I don't pay rent and yet don't do all the work. I don't know that people will feel this way but I wouldn't be surprised if a few didn't.
One question that was asked was if the fact that I now have a girlfriend would change my plans. I had already given this some thought and the best I could figure out was that it might change the length of time I would want to do it but not immediately. In other words rather than staying there for 8 years it may only be 2 or 3. I have also talked to Tara and threw out the idea that she could move there with me and rent her house out (at the appropriate time of course) and she did not laugh at this suggestion. So who knows, it may still be an 8 year situation.
It is interesting that for someone who for my whole adult life has only had to think about the implications of decisions for myself only I am already thinking in terms of how Tara might be affected by the choices I make. For instance if we are going to spend as much time together as we have been does that leave room for this new thing? The reason I think it will work is because she works nights and so for instance this week we only had 1 night spent together and so it would not have been hard to do the church thing as well. Also, since changing my work hours a few months ago (best thing I ever did) I can now get home at 4:30ish which leaves me time to work at the building for an hour before doing something in the evening.
Does it sound like I am trying to convince myself that I can make this work?
The reason that I will make it work is financial. I wish I could say otherwise and there are certainly parts of the decision that are being made out of a sense of obligation and a desire to serve my community of believers but the fact is that by doing this I will be 100% debt free by May 2007, at the latest. This will be such a freeing feeling I can't even tell you. When people talk about the burden of debt I know exactly what they mean. I was like most people when I was in my late teens/ early 20's and did some really, really stupid stuff with money and am still paying the price for that but this is an oppurtunity to finally free myself from the evil clutchs of stupid debt. It is hard not to see this as deliverance from God. A true answer to prayers. Of course that is pretty selfish thinking, aren't there other people who could use this chance as well? But it is being offered to me and I am taking it.
And so all that said I am left as with all things this request:
God, please help me with this.
Show me how to be Christ to others in this situation.
Give me the wisdom to determine your will for me and those around me.
Thank you for being God and loving me.
Amen