Mr. T pities you
A couple of weeks ago I posted little known facts about Chuck Norris. Today I bring you Mr. T. I did not come up with these but thought they were hilarious and hope you enjoy them.
Chad
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding
his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is
always understood.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in
the world.
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T,
and it was a warning.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T
in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and
realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created
Pity.
23.That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you
to read this sentence.
All that glitters is not gold: If it's not being worn by Mr. T, then it's
just jibba jabba, and Mr. T pities the fool who can't tell the difference.
This is where the phrase "fool's gold" comes from.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin
T.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr
T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of
fear.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at
Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T once beat Mike Tyson in a boxing match with only his left thumb. After
the three second match was over, Mr. T pitied Mike Tyson so bad that he
began to talk funny.
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T
administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke
every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember
the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the
mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Michael Jackson is the only fool that Mr. T refuses to pity. He finds that
it would be insulting to the pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to
walk.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the
show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with
the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T didn't know Rocky was a movie. He just wanted to kick the shit out of
a white guy and steal his bitch, A-team style.
You can lead Mr. T to water, but chances are that you will die there.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand
prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink
polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know
that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the
concept of infinity.
If you were born before 1980, there is a good chance that Mr. T is your
father. If you were born after, it's guaranteed.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British
path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and
created Scotland.
Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
Mr. T does not know you personally, but the odds are 7 in 10 that he pities
you.
Chad
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding
his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is
always understood.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in
the world.
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T,
and it was a warning.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T
in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and
realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created
Pity.
23.That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you
to read this sentence.
All that glitters is not gold: If it's not being worn by Mr. T, then it's
just jibba jabba, and Mr. T pities the fool who can't tell the difference.
This is where the phrase "fool's gold" comes from.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin
T.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr
T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of
fear.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at
Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T once beat Mike Tyson in a boxing match with only his left thumb. After
the three second match was over, Mr. T pitied Mike Tyson so bad that he
began to talk funny.
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T
administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke
every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember
the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the
mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Michael Jackson is the only fool that Mr. T refuses to pity. He finds that
it would be insulting to the pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to
walk.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the
show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with
the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T didn't know Rocky was a movie. He just wanted to kick the shit out of
a white guy and steal his bitch, A-team style.
You can lead Mr. T to water, but chances are that you will die there.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand
prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink
polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know
that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the
concept of infinity.
If you were born before 1980, there is a good chance that Mr. T is your
father. If you were born after, it's guaranteed.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British
path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and
created Scotland.
Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
Mr. T does not know you personally, but the odds are 7 in 10 that he pities
you.
posted by The Chad at 1:35 PM
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